M. Stonehand
Principal & Moral Philosophy
“The past is a room, not a prison.”
NOTICE: Several staircases are temporarily closed while maintenance cones are being relocated. Visitors should use the front entrance and consult the Campus Guide before changing floors.
Check your Authority or permission before changing floors, and speak with Mr. Washburn for the latest maintenance update. Thank you for not moving the cones, even when they appear to be in your way.
Check your Authority or permission before changing floors, and speak with Mr. Washburn for the latest maintenance update. Thank you for not moving the cones, even when they appear to be in your way.
Campus Safety
Student Discussion Board
Member Access
Minigame Guide
Academy Systems
Practice Lab
Start the demonstration
A message from the Principal
Welcome, prospective scholar.
For 70 years, Smackington Academy has prepared curious young women for lives of consequence. Our classrooms remain small, our standards remain high, and our doors remain open—during posted hours.
Explore this site to learn about our traditions, our faculty, and the remarkable building we are privileged to steward. If you find an inconsistency, please report it to Miss Paige in the Library.
— Mr Stonehand
Principal, Smackington Academy
Miss Paige has underlined three words in the current register: schedules / repairs / records. The rest has been filed under “ordinary administration.”
Our institution
A school of character.
Smackington is a selective academy for students aged 18 and older. We offer an education in letters, sciences, and the responsible use of inherited knowledge.
Our brownstone campus sits quietly behind an iron gate. Tours are available by appointment, except on days marked in red.
The people who keep the lights on
Faculty & staff
M. Paige
Librarian, Upper Library
Office hours: after the second bell.
Mr. Salazar
Counselor & Academy history
Ask him about the Academy—if the principal lets him finish.Please mind the uneven floors
Campus directory
01. Northeast CorridorPrincipal · Secretary · office map
02. Library & ArchiveRecords · upper gallery · disputed history
03. First-floor classroomsScience · English · Art · Math
04. Garden & CourtyardsRepairs · grounds route · outer wall
Campus maps cover two active floors. Roof and basement records remain outside the current demonstration.
Schedules & corridor customs
Student life
Student life is organized around class schedules, gym practice, the Junior Naturalists, and the much-loved Smackington Dramatic Circle. The Library and Archive remain popular after hours, although “after hours” is understood differently by different members of staff.
Visitors may encounter a debate, a rehearsal, a misplaced notice, or a small maintenance incident while crossing campus. Please report serious obstructions and leave the cones where Facilities put them.
The Student Life calendar is being restored from the office records. Please check back after the next bell.